forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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