Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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