My first STD was from a foam party
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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