hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
