redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
