Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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