erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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