I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
