Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
