I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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