idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
