he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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