yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
