Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
