garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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