I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
