he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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