Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
