WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This is the high leading the old right now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
