It's like a parade of train wrecks.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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