the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
