Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
