how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
