i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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