Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
