First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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