You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
