Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
