he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
