morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
