is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
