Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
