Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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