it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
