Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
