what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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