I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
