can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
