the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
