And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
