He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
