so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
