I'm gonna have a badass scar
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
