have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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