you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
