i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
