I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize