Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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