ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
