pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
