so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
