4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize