Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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