You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize