can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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