I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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