idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
