You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
