I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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