one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
