wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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