Sry I called you an 8
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
