I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can't turn off my feet"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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